Becoming an Adult Orphan

Everyone knows their parents are going to die one day, but I had no idea that I would feel a deep feeling of emptiness. I remember in the initial days after my mom’s passing, I felt a deep sense of loss that I couldn’t explain. I remember saying well that’s it it’s only me now. Maybe it was because it was the fact that my mom was final piece of my small family to pass on. Nobody from my immediate blood line is alive now. My father died in 2009, My brother in 2015 and now my mother in 2017. I started to question my own mortality knowing that I’m it. Being single with no kids that just hits you. Think about it there is no one to pass family history down to, or take care of you when your old and gray.

“Parents are like a library of memories of our lives”. They’re the only ones who hold certain memories of you as a child. Nobody knows how you were as a baby, when you spoke your first word, or took your first step, or your first day of school. My mom always made birthdays and holidays special and it's just not going to be the same. She was my #1 cheerleader that had my back thru thick and thin, and now that she is gone I must move on and live my new normal.

I continue to be blessed though. My mom’s husband has daughter and grandkids, great grandkids and they have taken me in. You see I didn’t have a big immediate family so unfortunately, I wasn’t used to people coming together when the going gets tough. It was me my mom and my brother against the world. I also have my brothers widow and she is like a sister to me. Family to me has now taken on a new definition. Family is whomever is there when you need them they don’t have to be blood related.

So how I been coping with this is reflecting on the times that I’ve had with each of my loved ones both good and bad and what I’ve learned from each. Looking at old photos and videos help too. You never get over someone who passed on you just be…